One-Time Friendships
In my recent quest to grow my friend circle, I've been attending numerous meetups. These range from formal language exchanges to casual games of pool at a pub. Upon repeat visits, you start to recognize the regulars and build a rapport. Small talk leads to chit-chat, which may flower into a deeper discussion and then to... Well, you probably know how new friendships work. For the most part, these efforts have paid off. Even if it's too early to call these acquaintances 'friends', I do feel like my conversation-starting ability has improved. It's all been a net plus.
Besides locals and transplants, these meetups also attract the occasional tourists, the backpackers in town for three days with minimal plans, looking to connect with the natives. Often, these guests are the most interesting to talk to, as they are so full of enthusiasm and open to recommendation. I've run into quite a few and hit it off rather well, I believe. But after a pleasant hour or so of chatting, that's it. We go our separate ways, likely to never see each other again. And that's alright.
There's too much pressure to make every encounter 'worth something' in our lives. Yes, I go to these events to make friends, but I'm also aware of my limitations when it comes to giving up my time and energy to invest in others. Friendships are as hard to maintain as they are to make, so it's important to foster the ones that are most valuable to you. I could exchange contact info with that traveling Canadian, but to what end? Sure, I may visit their area soon enough, but is that enough to warrant reaching out? How much extra effort would be needed to make such an action reasonable? Are we meant to have random contacts all over the world, just in case? I guess at this point in my life, I'm going for quality over quantity. I know it sounds bleak to put friendships in such a context, but this is the reality of where I am today in terms of time, energy, and available attention. So, why not just have a friend for a day? I don't even have to worry about remembering their name.